How Can We Prevent Suicide?
As I stated in the Introduction, a primary aim of this site is to teach you what happens after death and that you can begin during your life the orientation process departed spirits go through. I can’t tell you not to kill yourself, but I can tell you what it means to your soul, what will happen after death, and what it means to the humans living your soul’s other lives if you do. This page is meant to tie together all the information on this site to provide some context from my point of view about how we can work to prevent suicide.
Sections (click to jump to that section):
- Understanding the Nature of Emotion
- Learning to Deal with and Ceasing to Judge Difficult Emotions
- Understanding Soul and Its Relationship to Its Human
- Understanding the True Nature of Family Dynamics
- Understanding the True Nature of Relationships
- Understanding the Power of Choice
- Learning What Love Is, Where It Comes From, and Who’s Responsible for Giving it to Whom (Learning to Become the Source of Love for Yourself)
- Reaching Out for Help Without Shame
1. Understanding the Nature of Emotion
If we fear our emotions, we cannot get through them. If we avoid doing what seems to be giving into our feelings, then we prevent them from unfolding naturally. Think of emotions as waves of energy. They naturally ebb and flow, and some need to break.
Avoiding, stuffing, denying, escaping — all of these behaviors prevent the waves from breaking. A truth about human consciousness is that it is not in the natural order of things to be stressed, unhappy, depressive, or angry. When we feel such things, the energy tries as waves to break, in a natural process of moving out from us.
Energies and emotions that are stuck within us can cause all sorts of havoc including manifesting as physical illnesses and, even, accidents. They can magnetize other people to us, too, others who embody the feelings that are stuck within us. They can affect our relationships and everything else in our lives, and the stuck feelings can limit our willingness to be ourselves and live the lives we want and need to live.
Just because that thing happened years ago and you haven’t thought of it in forever doesn’t mean that you processed through it and let the wave break. And so there are within many people all manner of stuck energies and emotions that need to be addressed, processed, and released.
2. Learning to Deal with and Ceasing to Judge Difficult Emotions
Since we can feel taken over by emotions and perhaps haven’t learned how to effectively manage them, we try to prevent allowing ourselves to get lost in them. This means blocking them from coming to the surface, repeatedly trying to hide or stuff them down.
This desire not to get lost in painful or otherwise negative emotions is a primary reason we don’t deal with them. We fear being taken over permanently because, in any given moment when they do or threaten to come up, we feel them fully inhabit our minds, bodies, and hearts. Who wants to be consumed by rage? Grief? Depression? Self-loathing? Obviously, no one. Of course we avoid these feelings.
We must learn the truth that all feelings are temporary.
Remembering that emotions are energy waves moving within and through us, we can learn a better model of conceptualizing what it means that we feel what we might call negative emotions.
An incredibly important part of this, one that cannot be overemphasized, is the need for us to learn to stop judging the fact that we feel what we feel. This is all about those negative emotions, of course, because we don’t judge ourselves for the positive ones. Humans are social animals, and we need and want to be liked and to like others in return. Rage, depression, grief, etc., are not those that tend to endear us to each other.
As each human is on Earth to learn to become the source of love for the self (explained in more detail in the last section on this page), we all must learn to bring love to the parts of us that feel pain and other emotions we don’t want to deal with. Since each of us has the true nature of a soul behind personality, which as you learned on other pages has loving frequencies as its baseline, we each can be loving. Soul, in fact, understands love as power.
Each human has the capability to bring love to what hurts within him or her, and this is the form of strength, confidence, and power that the soul has set out for its human self to learn. Learning to locate and cultivate that strength within must be learned, however, and the first step to that learning is in withholding judgment about the content, intensity, and depth of what we feel.
3. Understanding Soul and Its Relationship to Its Human
When a person can see that the soul is neither judging/hating nor waiting to rush in and save him or her, that person can begin to see that human life is an opportunity to learn how to embrace the kind of strength that soul has, namely compassionate acceptance. For many, it’s easier to be compassionate with others than it is to be toward the self. It therefore takes some unwinding of judgments about the self to be able to begin to take responsibility for changing one’s life in the ways that are needed.
When a human accepts that there is no mother-father figure punishing or waiting in the wings to reward him or her, he or she can see that the power to take care of the self is his or hers alone. At first, this sense of responsibility can be daunting but, again, it’s extremely important that we learn to release the expectation and fear that we perhaps deserve to be punished for what we’ve done in the past, are doing now, or for some reason to do with perceived flaws in character or personality make-up.
One important note: Letting go of self-judgment requires releasing attachment to patriarchal religious teachings, particularly those that teach the doctrine of original sin. The model of soul I’ve outlined in these pages is meant to support you in that, and if you are someone who has been taught that you should shame yourself simply for being born and having a certain kind of personality, then I encourage you to revisit that page on this site. It’s also true that you might carry residues of such religious teachings or beliefs from other lives. They can be very strong in certain people even if such teachings were not part of the current life.
4. Understanding the True Nature of Family Dynamics
A family system is formed by souls to provide each member the kinds of life lessons he or she needs while living a human life. The old phrase, “You can’t choose your family” is simply not true from the soul’s perspective. Soul-level agreements made outside Earth’s time-space dimension serve the learning journey of all the souls involved as they need to be nudged or pushed into fear, pain, sorrow, conflict, and more in order to learn how to embrace and cultivate loving approaches to life.
When a person can come to a higher understanding of what loving purposes his or her soul’s family recruitment serve, he or she can learn more about accepting the lessons the soul set out for him or her and release sometimes significant pain that has lead to not wanting to live. While some people’s family experiences have been outright brutal, there are many dynamics in play from birth for many that have been somewhat or implicitly abusive (whether verbally, psychologically, physically, sexually, or any other way). Others for some reason didn’t feel welcome within their families, and others were or felt neglected. Still others were expected by their families to be who they simply couldn’t be, and there are of course those whose sexual orientation or gender identity were not accepted.
There are as many contours of family dynamics as there are human hearts in need of healing — everyone’s story is unique. Whatever a particular individual’s story/history, he or she may have been shaped from birth or from a young age. Our feeling of being loved, lovable, acceptable, and acceptable stem from early childhood experiences. It’s true that what we experienced in our families fits with the learning journeys the soul has set for us, but that doesn’t mean significant healing doesn’t need to take place in order to overcome deep feelings of not being loved and accepted, or welcome on Earth.
As a soul sets out for its human self the task of learning to become the source of love for the self, all of these family situations that shape a person can be seen as nudges or pushes into fear, pain, etc., so that he or she can learn to validate the self. But, again, in many people there is deep healing needed to release the past and old ideas of the self as not lovable or not worth being accepted and supported.
If family didn’t support or love you, or didn’t provide a safe, secure, loving environment, it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve these things. If they didn’t encourage your talents and passions, it doesn’t mean that these aspects of you aren’t important and deserving of attention. But your task is to learn to become the source of love for yourself, so their souls agreed not to provide these things for you so that you would learn more about validating yourself and meeting your own needs.
In the process of healing family dynamics, it’s important that the person learn to recognize what gifts the family has given him or her. True healing of this part of life involves working through knots, blocks, and bruises resulting from family dynamics past and present to open to be grateful for the pushes and pulls into pain, etc., so he or she could learn to move into love. All souls love each enough that they are willing to, at times, hurt each other while human so each has numerous opportunities over many lifetimes to learn to transform pain and move into love.
My 4-day healing intensive Family and the Conspiracy of Love is all about providing you these soul-based perspectives, including channeling your particular family contracts and helping you clear debris from the past. Check tdjacobs.com’s Healing Courses page for information on the next opportunity to join one. The channeled audio and books on the Resources page can also help clear debris from the past and release and forgive.
5. Understanding the True Nature of Relationships
In the same was as family relationships, important friendships and love relationships are also arranged among the souls involved to serve the learning journeys of their humans. These also fit the pattern of sometimes pushing or pulling a person into fear, pain, etc., so he or she can learn to become self-validating, self-caring, and self-loving.
Just as in family relationships, love and friendship dynamics also serve to show a person where he or she in the process of learning self-validation and self-love. They also reflect wonderful aspects of self to a person, as another person loving him or her can see the good things about him or her that the person alone often can’t see.
When a person understands that both the good and bad experiences in various kinds of relationships have all served the mission his or her soul set for this human life, the sting of difficult relationship issues of all kinds can be shifted and released. Again, just as with family dynamics, no matter how someone treats you, it’s not that you deserve it and are meant to feel judgment toward yourself for having experienced it.
If others have abused you, then their souls agreed to do it to give you a chance to stop being willing to receive abuse. Similarly with any other relationship issue that can damage our self-esteem and cause us to lose faith in ourselves, others, or life itself. This is a larger topic that deserves more attention. The channeled books on the Resources page contain more information on this.
6. Understanding the Power of Choice
To heal the impulse toward suicide, we have to frame our choices within the long-term journey of soul learning as we go. More specifically, we have to learn to view each person as learning to be human through making choices throughout the process of living. Each human is a work in progress, and this is by design.
It’s routine — and expected by soul — that a person will all the time find him- or herself in the position of needing to make a choice that he or she hasn’t had to make before. From the human mind’s/personality’s perspective, the person is supposed to know what to do all the time, but sometimes he or she doesn’t. A person might judge him- or herself for past and current choices to the point that he or she no longer wants to live, or feels that he or she no longer deserves support, love, or even to be here.
To be clear, what looks like mistakes to the human mind — fodder for much self-judgement and -criticism — are routine learning opportunities for the soul. Consider how much energy you have spent holding yourself accountable for making mistakes in your life. Now consider what your life would look like if you accepted that sometimes a choice comes along to push you into learn new things, and you might not always know precisely what to do in each and every situation. What if you gave yourself the benefit of the doubt? What it you took the pressure to be perfect off of yourself and let yourself learn to make the choice that’s right for you?
The power of choice comes with the opportunity to exercise the power to give yourself a chance to be a work in progress.
Remember that the power of your soul is in loving itself and all the other souls. Also remember that your soul intends that while you’re human, you learn to go from fear, pain, shame, etc., into loving motivations and energies. Many people have spent lifetimes judging and shaming themselves for the choices they have and haven’t made, not seeing the opportunity to step into more self-validation and self-care, burning off the fog of self-defeating judgments of self via self-acceptance.
As a result, many humans are currently in need of altering their conception of why they made the choices they made and what those choices served along the multilife journey of soul. As you read on the Orientation page, a spirit after death is shown these reasons and more, yet each of us can go through this learning process to upgrade what we believe about our choices while living. It takes courage and humility, as well as the willingness to give the self a chance while releasing the hold self-judgment has on us that we might carry.
7. Learning What Love Is, Where It Comes From, and Who’s Responsible for Giving it to Whom (Learning to Become the Source of Love for Yourself)
In the first four books I channeled from Ascended Master Djehuty (link), he referred repeatedly to the notion that each human is living many lifetimes trying to figure out what love is, where it comes from, and who’s responsible for giving it to whom. He says that all of our behaviors, motivations, and choices can be traced back to this need to get love. We ask others for love, we do for others to inspire them to love us, we manipulate others, we sacrifice ourselves for others or for causes just in case it will get us love.
In the fifth book, he says that after lifetimes of struggling through that process, over and over again finding out that others cannot, do not, and will not love us in the ways that we need, we ultimately get to the real point of the process: Each of us must become the source of love for ourselves.
Remember that, at birth, the wisdom of the soul about its true nature as loving consciousness is forgotten. The human baby is a bundle of needs — practical, as well as energetic and emotional. When the baby’s needs are met, he or she feels safe and loved. When they are not, the baby feels fear, pain, and more.
As the human matures, his or her family models their understanding of what love is, where it comes from, and who’s responsible for giving it to whom. A person might in this way learn conditional love, setting him or her up for a lifetime of relationships that unfold according to the struggle of wondering where love will come from and what a person has to do to deserve it. Many people throughout human history have fond themselves given and then offering others conditional love, sometimes striving to reach a state of unconditional love. But, as stated elsewhere on this site, many people have not known how to deal with and effectively resolve the worst pain, fear, anger, and other difficult emotions that we might judge ourselves and others for experiencing.
As described elsewhere on this site, when others don’t give you love, acceptance, and encouragement, it’s meant by the souls involved (including yours) to pull self-love, -acceptance, and -encouragement out of you. And so from the soul’s perspective, all of the very painful experiences you’ve had in not being or feeling loved, or being in some way neglected, used, or abused fit with your soul’s path as you learn to figure out how to become the source of love for yourself.
It can be incredibly difficult to find the part within yourself that can rise to this occasion. Those parts of us that are sure there’s no hope, or no reason to give life, ourselves, or others another shot can be extremely persuasive. After all, they have on their side a passionate conviction that it’s too much, things are unfair, we’re not worth saving, etc.
But the part of you with which the material on this site resonates is real. It’s in there. It might be partially buried under all that passionate conviction that life isn’t worth living, and the debris from life experience that seems too much to bear.
But it’s there.
8. Reaching Our for Help Without Shame
As laid out above, we can stop judging ourselves for what we feel, as well for the intensity and depth that we feel it. There is nothing wrong with any human emotion — remember that an emotion is a wave of energy that rises and falls, ultimately trying to break so we feel release.
Don’t be afraid of the judgments of others. Commit to not judging your feelings and the fact that you have them, and don’t accept judgment from others. Find someone you can talk honestly about your emotions, including whatever emotion that looks dark, negative, horrible, and/or monstrous that you would not want to share with anyone or own up to.
Own up to the pain that you are feeling and give others a chance to help you. There are times when our loved ones are not prepared, equipped, or willing to talk through things like this with us. If you find resistance within your circle and don’t feel supported once you reach out, go outside it to find a professional of some kind. It may be that you at first find resistance so that you can retrain parts of you to have faith that help is, in fact, available. Remember that you are dealing with parts of yourself that have become run down, felt stepped on, had their vim and vigor worn or stripped away.
It may not be easy to ask for help about such deep, personal issues, but you will not feel better until you work through them — until the waves are allowed to break in healthy ways. Explore the Resources page of this site for channeled books, channeled audio, and energetically programmed crystals I’ve brought through and developed to support you in working through deep issues. I also work with people one-on-one in deep ways, both through spiritual counseling and energy work to clear debris so you can think more clearly. Read about my consultations on tdjacobs.com’s Consultations page, and be in touch with any questions about how I might approach in counseling and/or energy work what you’re experiencing.